Emotional Turmoil by Paul Greco

To love gives me my greatest joy, To fear brings me back to a little boy. From both of these I may need to heal, God’s greatest gift for me is TO FEEL. "Emotion is the glue that holds a personality together," says University of Wisconsin researcher Richard Davidson. Although we cannot see or touch our feelings, we definitely know that they are real and, what I had to learn the hard way, they cannot easily be denied. For me, the best aspects about driving a Volkswagen Beetle is that, love it or hate it, everyone feels something in response to seeing one. This is almost unique in the automotive world (except for some Italian supercars). How this came to pass I cannot explain, only that I believe it to be true. I can’t say I understand what attracted me to own one of these cars back then. Was it just "cool"? I had no idea of what I was in for when I made that fateful decision, but I can recall the comments and reactions of those I’ve encountered since. Even back in the 70’s when the Beetle was ubiquitous, just about everyone had something to say about it. Such was the beginning of a beautiful relationship; with myself, my car, and the people around me. And as I now recognize, "I don’t have a problem with relationships, as long as nobody else is involved!" The most difficult concept I faced as a young Volkswagen owner was the comments about "The War". Born in 1952, I didn’t know very much about history or the ways of the world. I did notice, however, that those people seemed very angry. My naïve innocence protected me from the thrust of this commentary. Identify the "Stinkin’ Thinkin" then… On the other hand, I actually enjoyed being accused of supporting "alternative ideology", anarchy, or being a "non-conformist". This gave me a feeling of individuality, something I was desperately looking for. I wasn’t sure what all that stuff meant, but it felt good! Nowadays, psychiatric professionals label it "ODD" — Obstinance and Defiance Disorder, or as my mother would always remind me, that I was a troublemaker! My friends would say, "Why don’t you get a real car?" but that never bothered me. They just didn’t "get it". On the road, it seemed that everybody wanted to get around me, as if I was going to delay him or her greatly. "Go ahead" was my response, I LOVE driving my Beetle and want to make it last as long as possible! It amazes me even to this day that it seems people feel the need to cut in front of me. Do they even know anything about the "old" Beetle, or is everyone in such a rush now? Oh, the JOY of driving! There were those things I could get tired of hearing, enough so, that my response was to not respond. I guess the top of the list was "Hey, you got any heat in that thing?" or "Why is the engine in the trunk!" or "What is that, a toy?" Someone taught me that "only hurt people hurt people" and I began to have compassion. I learned to pray for "patience and tolerance" but would ask God to hurry up because I can’t take it any longer! As is with life though, it wasn’t all-unpleasant. Anyone who has owned one would probably agree that it was just "plain fun" to drive. It didn’t end there though; even gassing up was usually interesting. First, opening the hood and pumping the gas there almost always followed by "Hey, you must get great gas mileage with this!" Once while working as a pump-jockey myself, an anxious Beetle owner urgently stopped me from slamming the hood and showed me the proper way to close it: Bring it down slowly and just lean on the handle until it clicks. Wow! Endless possibilities for fun and entertainment were to be had. I think my favorite thrill was to disconnect one side of the emergency brake so I could lock up one rear wheel. With the old bias-ply tires it would squeal real loud and of course, one locked back wheel doesn’t slow the car very much, so the overall effect was quite successful at scaring the wits out of old people trying to cross the street! (Oops, please forgive me, I am bad!) Still, for the most part, there seemed to be a universal love for this homely/cute little car and it never failed to bring a smile to most of the people I’ve encountered. Yeah, I still have to put up with some stuff, but I now accept that "life is a struggle" but "the gift of life IS the struggle." So when someone comments, "Aren’t you afraid what will happen if you get in an accident?" I give them the same old response: "Oh, I’m not worried, that’s why I keep a can opener in the glove compartment!"